More about Living in the Dissonance
Experiencing great joy without having experienced great pain is highly unlikely. Yet, holding together these two truths of joy and pain, that find their way into each of us, requires a great deal of wisdom and maturity. How can I hold the pain of something such as a terminal diagnosis and the joy of a newborn baby at the same time?
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There is a dissonance which cries out for things to be made right. For things to be as they should be! Or at least, how we think they should be. It is rare, however, for reality to align with our wishes. Let's be honest, "happily ever after" is fairy tale BS. But there is room for both intense joy and heart breaking pain to exist in our lives - even at the same time.
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You're probably wondering what the hell this has to do with gaining freedom from sexual bondage. Here is the bottom line: in order to walk in freedom, you MUST engage the pain of your past head on and deal with it in healthy ways. Your unwanted sexual behavior is your attempt to medicate the pain in your life. Lasting freedom does not come from behavior modification, it comes when the pain and trauma of past hurts and wounds are healed by Jesus.
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This site provides you with a direct connection to someone who has lived this seeming paradox, and has gained some valuable understanding about how to balance both. Learn more about him below.
More about Kevin
I have quite a story, which will soon be out in book form. Here, I'll give you a good idea of who I am and why you might consider me as someone qualified to mentor and coach you into freedom from unwanted sexual behavior. First and foremost, I was sexually addicted for years. I certainly wouldn't have labeled myself that way at the time, but it's easy to see now, that's exactly the truth. Consistently over time, sex was my way of dealing with pain, stress, anger, and on and on. No doubt I was set up for this in my childhood. Four different people (3 men and 1 woman) abused me over a period of 10 years. I repressed all the memories of these horrific acts, and tried to live a good life. I compartmentalized my good behavior from my bad behavior, but over the years, these became more and more difficult to contain. I tried everything I knew to stop acting out sexually, but the "fixes" were all temporary. Pornography, masturbation, and ultimately infidelity, became a regular part of my life. The pain my wife has suffered as a result of this has been devastating. I wish I could say everything is great now, but it wouldn't be true. Yes, we have healed immensely and our marriage and sex life are better than ever before, but these issues have long term effects and we're still working those out.
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I've learned how to face the pain in my life and find healing. This has enabled me to gain lasting freedom from all unwanted sexual behavior for over 6 years. I am so very grateful. It is the miraculous work of God in my life, along with an incredible amount of very hard work on my part, through counseling, support groups, inner healing, and more. But here I am, living a life in which I can hold both intense joy and brutal pain together. I would love to help you learn to live in the dissonance. And I would love to walk with you into lasting freedom from sexual bondage.
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Credentials
Seven Plus Years of Freedom from Sexual Bondage
Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse
​Certified Transformational Leadership Coach
Instructional Coach Academy Certified
E-Learning Certification
Masters Degree in Education
7 Pillars of Freedom Facilitator (Pure Desire Ministries)
Certified Teacher
Licensed and Ordained Pastor